Conquer Self-Doubt with Reminders of the Past
Dance means a lot to Valentino, a breakdancer in Huancayo. To him, every new acrobatic move or dance step symbolizes life’s challenges. Every new achievement on the dance floor acts as a reminder that there are no limits in life.
In this video clip, Valentino shares why dance is important to him:
It takes a lot of time, effort, discipline and practice to learn a new breakdance move. You don’t always see the tangible improvements, but somehow, one day, you’re flipping and spinning on your hands, feet and head. “It’s like medicine,” Valentino says. “It relaxes me and helps me recuperate.”
As he explained this to me, I considered them lessons:
- We don’t always see that we’re growing and changing, but we have to keep chugging along and one day, we make wiser decisions and are proud of ourselves.
- When things get rough, we can call on past achievements to carry us through, and remind us of our value and strength.
Whenever I face self-doubt, I try to remind myself of the work I did in Japan. My research was on children with disabilities and it involved attending weeklong camps where we worked one-on-one with a patient using a Japanese psychorehabilitation technique.
I don’t know what changed, but something did over six more months until it came time for the last camp before returning home to Canada. This time, I didn’t have a translator, I took each therapy session as a learning experience with my trainee in which we joked and laughed together, I made friends with everyone and I eventually had a paper published on my research in an academic journal.
What is the challenge you overcame or overcome daily that reminds you that you can do anything?
Tags: breakdance huancayo, breakdance peru, japanese therapy, overcoming obstacles, self doubt
Paula
You are right, Samantha! This kind of thinking is very helpful to me in my job where I have changed positions every few years. Each job has more responsibility than the last, and when I get overwhelmed I just think about what I had to do to get where I’m at and it gives me more confidence. 🙂
It is easy yo get discouraged, but like you said if we keep “chugging along” – one day we can look back and maybe even realize it wasn’t really as bad as what we thought it was. 🙂
Samantha Bangayan
Wow! I love your strategy, Paula. When you remind yourself of what it took to get where you are, in a way, you’re also affirming why you’re there and that you deserve to be there. =) I often have to fight that feeling that I may not have the right abilities, but now I know that it’s also about how persistent we are and how willing we are to learn! =)
Thanks so much for relating to me! =)
Marcus Baker
Hi Sam,
When we do something and feel inadequate, we so easily forget that we are powerful beings. What is taking place however is a learning experience and feeling out of our depth is part of the process. In fact our power is being strengthened, not diminished.
Sam I loved the second lesson you gained when speaking to Valentino – “When things get rough, we can call on past achievements to carry us through, and remind us of our value and strength.” This is such profound advice. Instead of judging ourselves harshly by what we cannot yet do, let’s instead focus on who we really are and celebrate what we have already achieved, knowing that we will achieve again if we don’t give up.Awesome!
Self doubt is something I have battled with for much of my life Sam. The only way I have not allowed myself to be defeated by this, has been by continually reminding myself of my every past achievement whether small or significant.
~ Marcus
Samantha Bangayan
Marcus, what an important lesson! I can definitely see how feeling unsure is part of the learning process. In that sense, I can only feel proud of myself for putting myself out there and being willing to learn! =)
I also love how you interpreted the second lesson I presented — focusing on the “can” instead of the “can’t.” As you say, we can only discover if we can achieve something if we don’t give up!
Thanks so much for expanding on my post through your comment, friend! =)
Stuart Nager
Hi Sam: so much of what we do are life lessons…if only we’d pay attention. Glad you are as strong and intelligent a woman as you are.
Samantha Bangayan
Aww thank you, Stu! I like to think that everything that happens to us can be an opportunity for learning. =)
sangeng wong
Hi, Samantha, thanks for asking a pertinent point. I have been fascinated by what Yoda said in the movie, Star Trek, when a teammate (?) remarked “I can’t beleieve it!” after witnessesing he, Yoda, lifted a heavy flying object, with his mental strength. Yoda replied “that is why you fail”.
Belief, interest, can do, die hard attitude are the keys to success, conquering all obstacles, as how I have finished law school studies part time, after 10 years of absence from studying in a university.
The sitting down to study again, after a lapse of 10 years in the univerisity was difficult, more so till late nights. I did finished smoothly. Remembering such success obtained, for the efforts put in for 4 years of law studies, after 5 years of accountancy studies, is definitely confidence boosting, whenever I embark on resolving other challenging issues. ” As I have done it, so can I now”. Success breeds confidence and breeds future success.
Samantha Bangayan
What an amazing quote from Yoda, Sangeng! Believing with all our hearts, in spite of feeling uncertain, is what makes the so-called impossible happen. Thanks so much for sharing your amazing story! I’ve always wondered if I would be able to do the same — go back to school after many years of absence. Since it’s difficult for me to study in Spanish, I may not be able to study for a Master’s until I move back to Canada and who knows when that will be. =P Thank you for showing me that it’s so possible! =)
Dayle Fraschilla
Samantha, this is definitely one of you absolute best blogs! LOVED it! You allowed yourself a bit of vulnerability in this post that was just extremely welcoming.
Valentino is awesome and definitely an inspiration 🙂
These are so true:
-We don’t always see that we’re growing and changing, but we have to keep chugging along and one day, we make wiser decisions and are proud of ourselves.
-When things get rough, we can call on past achievements to carry us through, and remind us of our value and strength.
Right now, the challenge I overcome daily (or almost daily) is making work related phone calls. I despise talking on the phone and get rather panicky about the silliest phone calls (I won’t even order pizza by phone). But several times a week, I have to make phone calls for interview requests or job inquiries, and I’m pushing through my discomfort and doing it! (Even if I have to have a written script in front of me when I do it :P)
Samantha Bangayan
WOW! I’m soo glad you liked it, Dayle! =) It was a huge step for me to post a new picture of myself because I’m so self-conscious. =P
Ooh! I definitely feel you on making phone calls. I often tense up knowing that I have to phone someone, especially if I have converse in Spanish because I don’t always understand as well without being able to see lip movements. You are such an inspiration with the way you’ve faced this fear head on and are putting together such inspiring articles because of them! I so hope we get a chance to read your Paulo Coelho piece! =)
Adrienne
Now you are touching on a subject where we have all been there before Samantha. Okay, here goes…
When I joined the online industry I thought I was smart enough to figure this all out. After becoming so overwhelmed by all the information and implementing things only to see that they didn’t work, I began to doubt myself. I felt so inadequate, embarrassed and even ashamed because I felt like such a failure. I read all these testimonials from people who I thought I was just like but I constantly beat myself up because I just wasn’t getting this.
I think the best lesson we can learn from experiences like these is to just never give up on ourselves. To believe in yourself enough to know that the right people, information and opportunities will present themselves when we are ready. I honestly believe had we all not gone through what we have, we wouldn’t be the people we are today. So although it was not pleasant to experience any of those things obviously it was necessary for our growth. Don’t you think we are all better for it?
Thank you for sharing this Samantha. It’s another testament that we all have difficulties in our lives but it’s how we handle them that is the true lesson.
Adrienne
Samantha Bangayan
Well now, Adrienne, you’ve had me reflecting on how I had a really similar experience! =) Although I never imagined earning money online, I truly thought that anything related to websites and the Internet would be easy to figure out. I even had some programming classes behind me and had put together a few websites before. Little did I know that the technical side was the least of it all. It took over a year of blogging before I realized what blogging was truly about!
Sounds like you know exactly how I felt in Japan and how I now feel as I try acrobatics. There’s a lot of, “Why can’t I just get it?!” Thank you soo much for sharing your story and for the reminder to not give up. Hugs! I love the thought that we always come out better on the other side. =)
Vinny T
Another great post Samantha.
I’ve had numerous challenges, yet I’ve excelled in many ways. I’ve achieved a Ph.D. in record time, despite being told in high school, based on my mediocre performance, that I’d be lucky even to enroll in a college. I’ve also designed award winning cars for General Motors. have written an excellent historical novel set in Peru,and have married a wonderful, loving woman who comes from one of Peru’s most eminent families. There are many keys to success . The ones that I’ve found most helpful are a positive attitude, a determination never to give up, and the ability to learn from mistakes.
Samantha Bangayan
WOW! I learned a few new things about you there, Vinny! You have truly inspired me over these past months and thank you soo much for sharing your keys to success! The one that’s most important to me is the ability to learn from mistakes (instead of being overwhelmed by them).
Carolyn
Hi Samantha, Wow, what a powerful article! I agree with Dayle, this was one of my favorites.
So, what led you to the camp in Japan? I would think that the job you had would be challenging enough without the added factors of language and cultural issues.
But I can also understand how rewarding it must have been to overcome these obstacles by sticking with it and really helping others! Your perseverance and positive attitude paid off.
I agree with you, I value alone time. I need it to recharge. That would have driven me nuts to have no alone time whatsoever.
I have faced many challenges in my life, when my comfort zone was shattered by a change in circumstances. It’s easy to break down, cry, and scream, “I can’t do this!” But when you get that out of your system and realize you can, that’s where the growth and strength come in.
After all, it’s pressure that makes diamonds out of coal. Thanks for sharing your sparkle with us, my friend! 🙂
Samantha Bangayan
Wow! Thank you SOO much for the positive feedback, Carolyn! =) I’m so glad this post was able to touch others.
I went to Japan for a yearlong student exchange that involved an independent research project. I was already involved with cognitive research on people with autism and thought that I would try to get involved with something similar in Japan. Instead, the professor was in the clinical psychology department and had me learn the rehabilitation technique instead. =P I still look back on that year feeling immense pride yet shaking my head and wondering how I got through it all with minimal breakdowns. =)
Ooh! Great analogy about how coal becomes diamonds! =) That’s one I’ll remember. =) Thanks so much for your encouragement, friend!
Bryce Christiansen
WOW that is not easy. Those were two amazing stories Samantha.
I don’t know how I would do working in a foreign country I can barely speak the language of. Also to take on the challenge of working with others who are disabled would just add to the difficulty.
You are a strong woman. I am super impressed. I know you didn’t write this to get a bunch of compliments about how talented and amazing you are, but it can’t be helped.
Thanks for sharing.
Bryce
Samantha Bangayan
Aww thanks so much, Bryce! =) You know, I totally underestimated how difficult it would be to live in a country where I didn’t understand the language at all. It was way tougher than I ever thought it would be!
Thanks so much for the compliment, friend. =) You’ve impressed and inspired me just as much!
Adeline
Wow, Samantha! This post is just really inspiring to read, especially the part where you about your stay in Japan.
Looking back, there’s so many things that can really stop us from stepping out from our comfort zone and do something different. The most common probably would be words coming from people that tell you that you can’t do it and not even bother trying. For a while, that’s what kept me from even trying. It was only after I realized that the ultimate decision is mine that I’ve been able to step out of my comfort zone and accomplish the very things that I’ve been told I would never do.
Samantha Bangayan
Ooh! That would have been even tougher, Adeline! Thankfully, I didn’t have anyone telling me that I couldn’t do it when I was in Japan. I *do* have people doubting me here in Peru though, as I try to condition my body for acrobatics.
Thanks so much for the reminder that the decision is mine (not theirs). You are such an inspiration! =)
Deeone
Awesome post Sam,
This post shows just how awesome you are as an individual.
It’s amazing how often we become our worst critics at times. I find that I don’t actually have to wait on other people to tear me down, telling me that I can’t do something; I do it very well on my own.
Take this last experience with the new site. I feel I would have been able to finish much quicker had I been more encouraging to myself. It was really hard for me to tell myself I could do something that I’d never done before. But when it really hit me – I mean really hit me that I could do it; what I found was that I was indeed capable of the impossible.
I was in my own way, blocking myself of doing it. Once I finished or reached a point where I could let my work speak for itself, only then did that confidence sneak in and let me know that if I really put my mind to it, nothing is impossible.
I really enjoyed this blog. Your story as well as Valentino’s are quite powerful! It’s amazing what the human mind can accomplish when it begins to think it can.
Great post my friend! 🙂
Samantha Bangayan
Aww, hugs! =) Thanks SOO much, Deeone! =) That means a lot coming from you!
I’m just not realizing this too. Most people in my life have been thoroughly encouraging. I’m usually the only one bashing myself. =( And good point that we can often be more efficient when we’re our own best friend.
That’s so inspiring! We all need to get to that point when we realize that we *can* do anything we put our mind to! And your site has turned out just beautifully! =) Can’t wait to go check it out again!
Gustavo| Frugal Science
Awesome, Sam! Your accomplishments make me feel like I have been wasting my time, and yet (just as your article implies) I turn around and see those challenges that I had to overcome in the past and realize the long, long road I had to walk just to be here.
You are SO right, we don’t always see that we’re growing and changing. Moreover, it’s most likely that we give it for granted.
Samantha Bangayan
Haha! =) I like to think that not a single thing we do is a waste of time. =P Every event and non-event have played roles in our growth and development! =) Wouldn’t it be cool to be able to slow down enough to actually see all those little changes? =)
Hajra
This is such an awesome post…really resonates.
When I was doing my internship, everyday seemed like a challenge; the patients I would meet, the people I would help – whether I could help them or not. But somehow I knew I had to do it, I choose it for myself and I will do it.
But after one year and a good record and a good feedback from patients I got that confidence, I felt yes, maybe I ain’t that bad, maybe I can do it! 🙂
Samantha Bangayan
Ooh! You know EXACTLY how I felt, Hajra! It was kind of like a clinical psych internship. I felt the exact same way you did, wondering if I would even be able to make the slightest difference in their lives.
Loved hearing your success story! =) You are truly an expert psychologist, friend! =)
Sandra McLeod Humphrey
What a great blog–both Valentino’s and your stories are impressive! It’s amazing how different each one’s gifts and talents are. I think right now my biggest challenge is trying to familiarize (let alone “understand”) myself with all the new social networking and social media. They are so foreign to me that it’s like learning a new language. I hope you journaled your year in Japan, so that you can preserve those memories. Thanks for a great blog!
Samantha Bangayan
Wow! Thank you so much for taking the time to comment, Sandra! I really appreciate your time and feedback. =) I only journaled during half my time in Japan — I’ll have to get my thoughts down, so I don’t forget! =) Great idea!
I know what you mean about feeling slightly overwhelmed with social media! There’s so much to learn and not only do things change every day, but the best tactics also depend on your specific audience. I’m no expert, but do let me know if I can ever shed light on anything! =)
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Katrina Moody
What a great reminder that life is really all about the little things! We build upon small successes and great failures to become the person we were meant to be, as long as we learn from those same successes and failures along the way. *hugs* I love this.
As for me … I’m relearned an old lesson right now. It seems that being the primary caregiver for a disabled hubby and three very special guys has made me quite the tired mommy.
I didn’t remember my own daily lessons and forgot that resting was important for living. Let’s just say I shocked my poor hubby by fainting away like an old romance novel heroine. I am so *not* the damsel in distress, lol. The doctor’s diagnosis, and admonishment, aside from having a nasty ear infection it seems this mommy is plain exhausted, and my body refuses to keep going in this state. *sighs*
Learn from my lessons – don’t try to be all things to all people without first being aware of what your own body needs as well. Definitely a great reminder for me as I read your post. The little accomplishments are worth holding onto, as well as those failures. We learn from them all.
Samantha Bangayan
Wow! What a powerful line, Kat! “We build upon small successes and great failures to become the person we were meant to be, as long as we learn from those same successes and failures along the way.” You definitely summed up a life lesson that I want to continue to remind myself of every day. =)
Omigoodness! I really hope you’re alright from that fainting incident, Kat. I’m glad it wasn’t anything more serious and that you’re now going to be taking care of yourself as much. I know that you’ll still be the exact same dedicated mommy/wifey Kat, but with even more energy this time! =)
Katrina Moody
Aw *hugs* I’m recovering, and doing much better. Getting ready to post something a bit later tonight actually. More bouncy energy for this Kat … LOL 😀 *squishes you* You rock, you know that?
Samantha Bangayan
Ooh! That’s the Kat I especially love! =) *More squishes!* =)
Chris Barba
Hey Sam!
First off thank you for the birthday wishes on Facebook! Really appreciated it!
Second – your experiences in Japan seem awesome! I’ve been looking into some programs to teach English abroad and Japan is one of the countries that has a bunch.
I LOVE the lessons you summed up from Valentino – I copy and pasted them and when I get back to Jersey I’m definitely going to put them up on my chalkboard.
Great post Sam!
Samantha Bangayan
You are soo welcome, Chris! What exciting things did you do for your birthday? =)
I think Japan is definitely the most famous country foreigners head to when they think of teaching English. =P Have you heard about the JET Programme? I met tons of JET teachers when I was there! =) When are you thinking of heading out? =)
Aww thanks so much for the feedback on the lessons! Love the idea of having a chalkboard of quotes. =)
Chris Barba
I have heard of JET! I have a couple of programs like that in mind, but JET definitely seems like a pretty awesome one.
Thanks for looking out Sam!
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Sherry Zander
What a wonderful post, Sam. This one really spoke to me quite personally. Thank you for sharing this – it’s beautiful. You know, the high unemployment in the U.S. continues to climb, and there are many who can relate to Valentino’s current lot in life. Some have lost everything they ever worked for. I don’t know that they’ve found such a productive outlet, though, as he has. His story is inspiring and encourages me to keep pressing on and to not let circumstances define me or deter me. I probably won’t begin an attempt at break dancing any time soon, but I will definitely persevere and continue to push the limits in life’s situations. I always have, anyway, so why would I stop now?!
Samantha Bangayan
Exactly so, Sherry! You are definitely an inspiration when it comes to persistence. =) As you point out, we all have our personal challenges, and I also hope to continue meeting mine head on. =)
Meghan
I love that partly how you came to overcome your fears was by pushing through without a translator and learning to laugh through all the hard times. For me, my biggest challenge has been my move to Lima. I’m still learning and struggling, but just being here this long has shown me that I can do this. After moving to Lima, any other move looks like it’s going to be easy!
Samantha Bangayan
Yeah, you know, now that I think about it, I think my time in Japan helped me manage the transition to Peru better. Did you find the same from your experience in Germany?
You definitely amaze me with how you’ve transitioned so well and I love following your experiences, friend. =)
Meghan
I actually had a much harder time adjusting to Peru than I did to Germany. But I think that was partly because my time in Germany was study abroad so I felt a lot more carefree and was without as many responsibilities. Also, I was in Germany with a few girls from my University and they made the transition easier. I certainly wasn’t prepared for the hard transition of moving to Lima and because I wasn’t prepared, I think it was much worse. But I made it, proof that we can all succeed if we just give it a good, honest try.
Samantha Bangayan
Ooh! I can imagine how different the experience must have been with some people that you know by your side versus taking everything in alone! And great point about how being prepared counts! Hugs! I’m so glad you’re adjusting so well now! =)
Jimmy
Hi Sam,
How are you? This is just the second time I am back here. I should be back more as I can sense a lot goodness in you trying to enrich the world with your stories and experiences.
My personal experiences with breakdancing ended when I tried a back flip from a headstand. I am not gymnastically designed and that was a mistake. My inflexible bone structure simply did not allow me to perform such an advance maneuver. Life lessons here for me: 1) Start with simple moves. 2) Belief is key.
This post brings out the essence and power of past achievements. These past achievements are often forgetten or taken likely. When used correctly, they can be very inspiring sources of great acts. We must someone find ways to remember and retrieve these past acts for ourselves. I have never given this much thought until lately when I started to list down the things that I have achieved in the last 40 years. The exercise was amazing. In fact, it brought my self esteem and self belief to new levels for greater things to come.
Today, it is the little things that I do daily that gives me hope. My wife and I are not exactly in the best state to bring up our two toddlers. But we do our best. For me completing the daily chores at home is an achievement. we know that the family needs to function efficiently for the babes to grow. If we don’t wash the clothes for example, they have nothing to wear. If I don;t prepare their school bags, they will not be ready for school. Throw in our jobs and extra work like blogging for our passion, it can be handful.
Each day, my children and hope for our future teach me that I am so capable of many things. I never knew that I could do with only 4-5 hours sleep time constantly for so long. I never knew that I could prioritize my time so well whereby only the most crucial tasks are done. I never knew that I could be supporting a family with only my income. God truly puts us through trials to strengthen us. Each day, when I accomplish these little things, my hope for the future grows brighter.
Samantha Bangayan
Wow! You are so daring, Jimmy! =) I loved the life lessons you pulled from your acrobatic attempts! They are what my coaches tell me too — especially that part of believing in myself. If I’m scared that I’m not going to be able to do it, then my body isn’t going to go anywhere. =P
What a cool exercise about listing past achievements! You’re right that we often take those successes lightly, but that feeling of success can be harnessed into such a powerful motivational tool! I also love how you focus on the little successes too! =) That’s something I want to always remember.
I am so amazed that you’ve been able to survive on 4-5 hours of sleep and and prioritize so well! Those are two of my goals as well. =) Thanks for the energy and encouragement in your comment, Jimmy! I’m so glad we’re in touch. =)