Alone
“Loneliness is the most terrible poverty.” – Mother Teresa
I have always wondered how people can live alone – not single or independent, but isolated. Even though I like to consider myself a homebody and I find pride in being able to enjoy busying myself with solitary tasks, I can’t imagine a life devoid of family, coworkers, friends, and a partner.
They say that there was an old lady who lived across the street from where I used to live in Huancayo who trusted only one person, who only had one friend. The people she trusted the least were her family members. She was always afraid that her sisters would try and steal her money. She was rich by Peruvian standards.
She paid a neighbour to help her fix her water pipes one day. She let him into her home, and closed and locked the door behind him. She unlocked a second door to let him through, and then closed and locked that one behind him. There were three “front” doors in total. When they were done, she let him out with the same tedious unlocking and locking process.
The one friend had a copy of the keys to the old lady’s home in case of emergency – she was a storekeeper who lived at the end of the street. Other than their habitual gossip sessions, the old lady could usually be found sitting in front of her building, watching the goings-on of her neighbourhood. Every morning, she would open her garage for a bread vendor who stored her materials there.
One morning, the bread vendor was frustrated that the old lady wasn’t opening the door for her. With her regular customers complaining behind her, the vendor pleaded with the old lady’s friend – the storekeeper – to open the garage door for her. The storekeeper refused to open the door without explicit permission from the old lady.
In the afternoon, the police were called in. They found the old lady lying on the floor, near death. A few minutes later, she was gone. She could have been saved if someone had found her earlier.
Tags: loneliness, neighbours
Ben Cheung
Hi Sam
I hope you don't mind me leaving a comment here. Just wanted to tell you that I stumbled onto this site from your Facebook, but only had time to read this entry of yours (I'm busy grading papers/crushing the dreams of undergrads).
This is such a sad story…but it reminds me of how in some cultures, people trust their closest friends the least, and are most wary of them. It's amazing to me, too, that some people can live completely isolated. You should look at people in Japan who have a condition called Hikikomori, which has almost become an epidemic there (approx. 1 in 10 kids in high school have it, is what I've heard). It's a condition where these boys would just lock themselves in their rooms, refuse to come out, and refuse to interact with anyone. Parents leave food for them outside their door, and the boys leave the plates outside the door when he's done. There's no talking, no communicating. It's a very strange condition…
Anyway, hope you're well in Peru. Let me know when you're back in Vancouver 🙂 I'll try to keep up with your blog.
Samantha Bangayan
Oh! I've heard of hikikomori. It's interesting that the "condition" is recognized enough to have a label.
Thanks for the note even despite your busy schedule crushing dreams. =P It was so fun to see you in Montreal. Will let you know when I'm back in Van!