The Untouchable Schizophrenic in Huancayo
Pablo* was one of the strongest breakdancers in Huancayo. At the time, no one could do all of the acrobatics and tricks that he could do on the dance floor. Everyone knew his name and respected him.
No one knew what to do with him. Some speculated that he was involved in witchcraft. When word got around the small town where he lived, the community concluded that this is what happens to people who take too many drugs. When I was introduced to Pablo in 2008, they told me to be careful around him because he was apparently a drug addict.
Pablo’s last hope was a psychiatrist in Jauja, a city two hours away, but how could they bring him there when every effort resulted in rage and a flurry of flying fists? With pained hearts, Pablo’s father and brother fought back and physically forced him into the car. It was worth it. The psychiatrist diagnosed Pablo with schizophrenia and it was a relief to the family to know that it was inevitable; the drugs were only a detonator. He’s now stable under daily medication, helping babysit his niece and even expressing an interest to go back to school.
“The experience has taught me that you should look around you before you make decisions,” Pablo’s brother tells me with slight regret that he went off to Lima on his own in his younger years. The two were inseparable, the best of friends, and Pablo was forced to find a new group when his brother left; unfortunately, Pablo got involved with the wrong crowd.
*Name changed to protect the person’s identity.
Have you ever regretted a choice you made because you thought of yourself instead of others?
What has been your experience with mental disabilities? Do they scare you? Are you curious about them? Do you feel compassion? Are they a normal part of life for you?
Tags: disabilities huancayo, mental disabilities, Peruvian doctors, schizophrenia, schizophrenic
RAAckerman @ The Adjuvancy, LLC
The sad point here is that "Pablo" may never have fully manifested these symptoms except for the fact that the chemicals he ingested put him just over the edge (and beyond). One can say this is a blessing, since he can now be treated; however, the guess is with continued ingestion of unauthorized drugs, the maintenance dosage will be difficult to ascertain and maintain…
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Samantha Bangayan
It's true! They'll always wonder whether this would have happened at all even though the doctor said that it was inevitable. I have another friend in Huancayo whose mother is a schizophrenic and they're also concerned about the increasing dosages. =( I hope that there might be another solution!
Sherry Zander
Schizophrenia is a strange bedfellow, indeed. In a country that highly regards superstition (I understand Lima does?), I can see how Pablo experienced persecution and his illness went un- or misdiagnosed. It's a shame that he suffered so much until finally diagnosed, but it's great that he did finally get an accurate diagnosis. It's amazing the difference in his personality when he finally received treatment. We have a good number of homeless people in the U.S. that are schizophrenic. Some even received treatment, but were uncomfortable with the change in their personalities … so they live in their own world in the homeless community. My daughter actually dated a young man, Brian, in her late teens when his schizophrenia emerged. She was very creeped out by the dramatic change in his personality. They were very close before the illness revealed itself. You see, he was molested by a babysitter when he was 2 years old. Instead, of prosecuting the male babysitter, his parents moved away from the area to try to sweep it under the rug. I think that was a big mistake. When we don't expose darkness like that situation, I believe it festers in a person's soul. At the same time Brian's illness became apparent, he asked his parents if he was molested when he was 2 years old — he had nightmares about it. Amazing how people have recollections of trauma at that young of an age. He initially took medication, but said he felt that it interrupted his creative ability as a musician. He no longer takes his medication and continues to display strange behavior. My heart goes out to him.
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Samantha Bangayan
That's right, Sherry! Pablo had a more difficult time than usual because a lot of tradition and superstition was involved. That's why they thought he was involved with witchcraft. =(
It's actually a thoroughly amazing story to think that his family cared and loved him throughout those years of confusion and frustration!
Your story makes me think of the homeless in Vancouver as well. Many of them were from the nearby mental hospital.
Wow! Thanks so much for sharing that tidbit about the person your daughter dated. I can't even imagine what it would have been like to see your partner change like that! And how horrifying to hear about being molested and having to carry that inkling of a memory from toddlerhood to adulthood. What an interesting choice to let himself exhibit strange behavior for the sake of creativity and "normalcy!" Loved reading about this, Sherry!
Adrienne
I can honestly say I've never known anyone with this disease. I find it strange that he was fine until one day. Not having any idea how this disease manifests, I can assume this is a normal progression. But in the end he was able to finally get the help he needed and his life is back to some sort of normalcy.
I also haven't ever left anyone to go off and do my own thing so to speak. I've always been there to support my friends and family when needed. Not that some of my friendships haven't ended over time due to certain circumstances but not because of an illness. Never.
Thanks for sharing this story with us Samantha. I do love happy endings.
Adrienne
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Samantha Bangayan
Me neither, Adrienne! Pablo was the first person I met who has schizophrenia and even then, I don't know him so well.
You are such a sweetheart, Adrienne. =) I had an inkling that you might be the type of person who is always there for the people who matter to her. =) Hugs! Thank you for being there for me too! <3
Peggy
Mental illness, especially schizophrenia, is heartbreaking. When I was younger, I worked with the chronically mentally ill. (You just found out half my work history today.) Life with mental illness is an incredibly difficult life to lead. Often times schizophrenics thinking is so clouded that they can't remember to take the medicines appropriately. Sometimes the meds just quit working. My heart and prayers go out to this person. He is lucky to have the support of his family. I appreciated this story.
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Samantha Bangayan
Wow! I had no idea that your professional background is connected to mental disabilities. You are so strong, Peggy! Thank you so much for sharing your experiences! How scary to think that sometimes the meds don't work anymore. =( I so hope that this won't be the case for Pablo.
fullerjanette
Fascinating post, Samantha. I am glad Pablo finally got to see a psychiatrist and get the proper medication. This wil be a life-long challenge but I hope he continues to improve. I am sure his family will help him all they can.
Samantha Bangayan
Me too, Janette! Who knows what would have happened if they weren't able to find a reason behind all of this. His family is amazing indeed! =)
@oneshoeshy
I' taking some hope in knowing that, in general, the more sudden the onset, the better the prognosis. That would bode well.
I don't encounter much psychopathology, not diagnosable anyway. When I do, I am fairly comfortable around it unless I know anger or aggression to be a symptom. What I AM uncomfortable with is a system of labeling that clearly leads to stigmatizing and discrimination those individuals who manifest it.
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Samantha Bangayan
I didn't think of it that way, Thom! You're right!
Thom, I so identify with what you say about being uncomfortable with the "system of labeling." There is a history of autism in my family and we had much discussion over whether we should even tell people that my family member has Asperger's. Things just change when people know!
Leanne Chesser
I've spent my entire career working with people with disabilities of various kinds, including mental illness, and I worked with several clients with schizophrenia. I also have friends and family members who have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and depression. So, in that sense, it's part of normal life for me. I'm very comfortable, I'm not scared and I definitely feel compassion. In fact, I have huge compassion for anyone viewed as "untouchable" (and very much dislike that term!). We're all human beings. We're all valuable, touchable, unique and important.
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Samantha Bangayan
You have tons of experience, Leanne! I think knowing people really helps because it makes it real for us rather than it being some weird phenomenon that only happens "to the other guy."
Thanks so much for finishing up with those powerful sentences: "We're all human beings. We're all valuable, touchable, unique and important." True that, friend!! =)
Chris Barba
Hey Samantha,
I remember when I did my first internship in the mental health unit of a hospital I was scared shitless walking down the hallway as all these eyes were glaring at me. And schizophrenia, that significantly impairs daily functioning.
I studied all the illnesses in a classroom, but the moment I actually witnessed what a hallucination looked like, how a person with depression acted, how manic episodes really looked, well it was not something the textbooks alone could prepare you for.
One day I challenged myself to think if these chemical imbalances causing mental illnesses could have any positive outcome. It seems impossible to find anything supporting that, but I was thinking, for example, a hallucination lets a person tap into a different world where they can call on a completely different perspective – ones that could create a type of inspiration. It's a controversial thought no doubt, but perhaps there are some outcomes to mental illness that are not solely negative.
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Samantha Bangayan
Chris, it's so great to meet you! Thank you so much for sharing your insights here and I can't wait to connect with you more on social media and through your blog. =) It sounds like we have tons in common in terms of the varied way we choose to live life!
You describe your shock so perfectly, how textbooks couldn't prepare you for what it's like to meet these people in person. I absolutely love your positive take on this all. The hallucinations can beget inspiration and possibly creativity in a way that we could never imagine. After all, there's room for all kinds of people in this world! =)
RobertaBudvietas
How much do we really know about the human conditions, mind and diet and what triggers what. How many physical conditions are triggered by the mental and so on. Welcome back Samantha
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Samantha Bangayan
So true, Roberta! We can go crazy just thinking about it!
This also makes me think of a group of people with Asperger's who were claiming that they were the way of the future and that the generations just needed to catch up. Who's to say who's "normal." =P
Hajra
I could go on and on about this but this is do heart wrenching..really. I see people with mental disabilities who are never able to access treatment because people around them have labelled them "mad" or like "untouchable" like you say here. It is such a sad state when such things take away a person's entire life and becomes such a stigma and taboo because people choose to brand someone. Mental disability is treatable and that needs to be bought to everyone's attention.
My psychology professor was diagnosed with schizophrenia at the end of our Bachelor's term, a great teacher and an even wonderful person just was fighting it for a long time because people around her thought she "knew it all" because of the psychology profession. A suicide threat and she locked herself up for a whole week. Yes, it got dangerous before people around her took notice.
She is fine now, back to teaching but still on the edge at times.
A very sensitive issue. Thanks for helping bring it to the forefront.
Samantha Bangayan
This was definitely a risk in this story, Hajra! If the family hadn't been so insistent, Pablo might have just been another crazy person in the streets. As you say, it's why education is so important!
Wow! How crazy to hear about a psychology professor (someone in the field) being diagnosed with schizophrenia! Just goes to show that this can happen to anyway!
Thanks so much for sharing, Hajra!
Jen Puckett
Aww…this is such a sweet post! The recurring problem that I notice with this illness is the tendency of the person to stop taking the meds because they "feel fine." I think it is important for the family to pay attention and be an advocate for the person. Most of all show them lots of love and compassion. We have so little knowledge of how the brain works and why these things happen.
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Samantha Bangayan
I've heard of that too, Jen! I think this happens with Pablo too as he doesn't see the need to continue taking medication, but his family continually tries to reason with him. That's the great thing about loving families. =)
Maureen Hunter
Great post Samantha and I would like to comment._I have had personal experience of mental illness and have had someone very close to me hospitalised because of psychosis. My own battle with mental illness has been protracted and can now say I am very well. As a family member looking in it is very distressing as there is so little one can do, especially if those mentally ill are adults themselves. It is often not until it reaches crisis point and either the person themselves seeks help, has to be hospitalised or like Pablos family forcibly take him for help that anything can happen. The stigma surrounding such illness is huge. As a result it leaves sufferers reluctant to seek help and for it to be openly discussed._I dont feel that we should base our choices in life on considering others necessarily. In that, as adults, we are responsible for our own wellbeing we can never be responsible for anyone elses. We can support them in many ways and live our lives full of compassion and care for them. Regret after the fact. I think comes from the guilt that if we had done something, differently, what happened wouldnt have happened. Unfortunately we cant go back, only treat ourself with the compassion we usually give glady to others.
Samantha Bangayan
Maureen, thank you so, so much for sharing your personal experiences. It's so unfortunate that it often has to reach a "crisis point," as you say, before change can happen. Nevertheless, it sounds like your story and the story of the person close you have reached happy endings and that's what counts.
You also bring up such an important point that no one else has thought of, Maureen — we also need to share the same compassion with ourselves. This is why you're such an amazing coach, friend. Thank you so much for your wisdom!
billdorman
Like most you tend to compartmentalize and hope you don't have to deal with them. However, through my volunteer efforts w/ a program called Guardian ad Litem it has taught me to be less judgmental and much more compassionate. The challenge is if you are dealing with violent behavior.
We are all selfish to a point, but I do try to think of others and how my actions will affect them.
Thanks for sharing this. Did you know I was the one who invented break dancing…….
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Samantha Bangayan
Great point, Bill. We often think that people with mental disabilities are on the outside until we're forced to face the issues. I loved learning that you're a volunteer and what you learned from your volunteering. =) Those are lessons we all need for a more peaceful community. =)
I had no idea that you invented breakdancing. No wonder you're so COOL! =)
Hilda
A lot of times in life, you have no choice, you gotta do what you gotta do to survive. If you have to leave the person you grew up with, then so be it. At the end you will be living your life, not the person whom you grow up with or are associated with. I have lost a lot of friends by leaving them behind to pursue my goals, but at the end it helped me realize who my real friends and families are. True friends are people who will love you no matter what. They will love you even though they have helped you out in your journey, but you didn't help them out. Life is not all about a two way streak where I help you, and you have to help me. Life could also mean a one way streak, where only one is benefited. But the important thing is as long as a deep friendship, love, and connection is within your heart, that my friend is all that matters 🙂
As for psychiatric disorders, a lot of them can not be treated, but can be kept in control. Unfortunately, Pablo might lose his dancing spirit or gifted acrobatic moves because of these drugs. Psychotic issues such as schitzophrenics can often occur in the gifted, talented, individuals such as pablo. You have to understand that there is a thin line between madness and creativity, and once that line disappears or crossed over, that's when the individual witness another part of the world that other normal people don't notice or dare to go.
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Samantha Bangayan
I love your life testimony here, Hilda! This is why you're successful — because you're sure of yourself and you follow your dreams. What a beautiful tidbit of wisdom to hear that we need to do what we need to do — and we discover the people who truly care about us along the way.
You know the cool thing? Pablo has started dancing again! =) It's kind of exciting, but I think he's lost a bit of the energy and pizzazz that he had before. =P Nevertheless, it's a good first step!
OOH! What a cool idea about there being "a thin line between madness and creativity." I've heard that people with mental disabilities may be more creative because maybe they're on the verge of "madness," as you say! =P
Diana Simon
Hi Sam,
I have never had mental disabilities but I can imagine it must be very challenging for the family and those closest to the person.
As for regrets, I tend to move forward than think what it could have been. I learn from those lessons rather than regret about it and move on 🙂 The load is lighter this way.
Hugs,
Diana
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Samantha Bangayan
Definitely, Diana! I haven't personally experienced a mental disability either, but there have been cases in my family.
It's a good lesson to learn to move forward since we can't change the past. As you say, what's important is learning the lessons! =) Love your insights, Diana!
penniej2
The story of Pablo hit a nerve. Schizophrenia must be one of the most misunderstood of mental illnesses. In more advanced areas, it is easier to diagnose, but in backward areas or countries or even among certain cultures, to recognize that someone is schizophrenic is tantamount to branding them with the word, "Maniac."
Unfortunately, I have a fair amount of experience with mental illness. My stepfather would probably be categorized today as schizophrenic; in those days, people just called him a lunatic or someone who should be locked up. On my mother's side, there is a history of mental illness, and I'm a sandwich caught between my mother and my oldest son (bipolar but refuses treatment). Several aunts and cousins were diagnosed schizophrenic and sent to what was then, the loony bin.
When I went to work in the phone room, I made close friends with another writer who announced to me – and everyone who could hear – that she had a borderline schizoid personality. Since then, she's been in and out of mental hospitals and while she is more lucid, she is a shadow of her former bubbly self. That's what shock treatment and lots of medicines can do to people.
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Samantha Bangayan
That's exactly it, Pennie! It's why everyone thought that Pablo was involved in witchcraft. =(
I loved hearing about the people in your life who may be going through something similar and I especially love the matter-of-fact approach you take to it all. "That's just the way they are," I imagine you expressing behind your comment. =) That's the kind of attitude I want to take as well! =)
gustavo
Mental illness is a common subject around my family since we have experienced bipolar conditions in two close relatives. As in any disease, there have been bad times, and then, proper medication has made things easier. The positive side is that you learn to understand that mood is the result of many things (chemical, physical, and environmental) and that you must not identify with it. You may choose to be happy even under a very bad mood.
Samantha Bangayan
Wow! What an important piece of wisdom, Gustavo! I love how you remind us *not* to identify with our moods because it's so changeable and so susceptible to influence from outside of ourselves. I really appreciate that insight and you sharing a bit about your family! =) Thank you!
William Tha Great
Samantha: It's been a while since I've been back to our blog, but I couldn't stay away for too long as I'm always seeing your avatar all over the place! ( :
This was a really interesting article to read, but what I learned from it is not judging people without knowing what's really wrong with them. I have a speech impediment. I'm not sure if it's physical, mental, or maybe even some of both.
Many times when people hear me talk for the first time if I stutter over my words they will think I'm weird, stupid, or not very intelligent. Most people come to those conclusions before they even know why I talk the way I talk. People are always going to jump the gun and make conclusions about you, but thats just life.
Anyways, I've made many decisions in my life that I've only later regretted. The way I look at it is a lesson learned, and to not repeat in my same ways. I don't believe mistakes are a bad thing if you learn from your mistakes. There only bad if you keep making the same mistake over and over.
You can look forward to my return as ill be bookmarking your site this time! ( :
Keep up the good work!
God bless,
William Veasley
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Samantha Bangayan
Aww thanks, William! =) It's great to be in touch again!
That's a really good takeaway from this post, William — one that I'll remember as well. It's easy to brush someone off as crazy and then suddenly our perspective changes when a concrete label is used. We'd be better off not judging in the first place! =)
Wow! Thank you so much for sharing your personal experiences, William! I really admire that you don't place judgment on the people who judge you. And I certainly don't think that you're weird, stupid or unintelligent! =P
I also love your approach to regrets. What's important is to learn from those experiences.
Thanks for being such an inspiration, friend! =)
@MicheleRempel
Hi, Samantha. In one of my past careers, I worked with adults who had disabilities such as schizophrenia. I have to say that I learned what humanity really means from these individuals. They taught me more than I could ever teach them. Thanks for sharing!
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Samantha Bangayan
Wow! I so loved learning a little bit more about you, Michele! I always knew that you had tons of compassion and patience with others. =)
I love how you say that you "learned what humanity really means" from working with adults with disabilities. It just goes to show that we are all valuable and can all teach other. =) Thank you so much for sharing this!
Deeone
Hey Sam!
Wow! I actually did a similar post yesterday… about a friend I lost some years ago. We don't know for sure, but we think she suffered from depression… she certainly had some things to be depressed about. You'll definitely have to read the post named, "Adi's Meantime"
Mental illness runs in my family. I had a uncle who got a hold of some drugs that left him schizophrenic shortly after high school, and he stayed that way until his death later in life. He stayed on his medication for the most part, he had a few lapse here and there; but I was never really afraid of him. My grandmother took the time to explain to me what had happened to him; which probably helped me to not be fearful of him.
Then I have two cousins who cope with it and they also were diagnosed with being bipolar. Both of their mothers sent them off to California, and I haven't seen them in years.
Before my mother passed last year of cancer, I spent two weeks with her in the hospital, while there I found out that she had a serious case of depression. I always wondered why she acted the way that she did growing up. She was never prescribed medication, because she never sought help. She instead would drown her depression with alcohol… and lots of it. I moved out from her when I was 16 and never looked back. I would see her and visit her when I became an adult, but she always seemed to be angry to me. It wasn't until she got really sick with her cancer that I saw a change in her and was able to be around her for long periods of time. Which saddens me now, because I have a better understanding of who she was now.
You're right people oftentimes don't know how to interact with mental disease, so what they do instead is shut themselves off from those who suffer from it. Which isn't always the best answer. They need the help… professional help, and they won't seek it unless their loved ones make them seek it. Its a battle for some and hard for others. My heart really goes out to those that suffer though and I commend those that stick around to help them.
I wish I myself could turn back the hands of time and be that help for my mother… but it was a lesson that I had to learn. As a teen I just wasn't equipped to do so. She knew before she left this world that I loved her dearly, and that… I guess is good enough for me.
Very deep topic though, I'm glad to have read this post. Thanks so much for sharing. 🙂
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Samantha Bangayan
Deeone, thank you soo much for sharing your personal experiences with mental disabilities! They sure do change lives, but it's so uplifting to hear that these people can still live healthy lives.
As for your mother, I'm so sorry to hear that you weren't able to develop a more fulfilling relationship with her through many years of your life, but what counts is that you were able to realize why and eventually overcome that albeit for the later years of her life. You were also able to garner important lessons that you can share with others too. Sometimes, having a definition can really help us be more compassionate.
Thanks so much for opening up your heart like this, Deeone! You always do and I need to do it more often. =)
Will be checking out your post for sure!
cath
What a fascinating post. The comments were varied and interesting. What strikes me is that many of the comments show there is still much misinformation about mental illness. It also proves my belief that we all tend to react and form beliefs that are influenced by what we experience in life, along with what we learn.
I've worked in mental health many years, as well as in many other areas of nursing. It has given me a more holistic belief about mental and physical health and illness. I have seen medications and treatments misused and people misdiagnosed, which grieves me.
I have seen medications and treatments used correctly, and work wonders in the quality of life people would otherwise never have a chance at improving. ECT can work miracles in someone psychotically depressed. Medication can halt auditory and visual hallucinations in a schizophrenic.
Labels are just that. Schizophrenia is a label just as diabetes is. It describes a list of symptoms so that the illness can be treated. It is a shame people tend to fear what they don't understand.
As for me, I don't fear mental illness. I have been around both stable, and violent schizophrenics. All I see when I see someone who is mentally or physically ill, is a person who needs treatment. Treatment that will give them a better quality of life. And I do my best to see that anyone coming into my program gets the help they need.
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Samantha Bangayan
It's so true, Cath! I think that people don't bother learning about mental illness and tend to avoid the topic if they aren't faced with it themselves or through people close to them. And you're right that people fear the unknown. The label becomes more than just a list of symptoms — it becomes a negative stigma!
Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom, knowledge and expertise! You've really cleared up a lot of tidbits on mental health. I also loved learning more about you and your experiences. =) I'm so glad there are people like you in this world and I'm ecstatic about our friendship. =)
Samantha Bangayan
Steven, it's so great to meet you! =) Thanks so much for taking the time to leave a comment!
I've been hearing inklings about this connection between mental disabilities and creativity! =) That's so promising because it reminds me that we ALL have something unique and important to share, that we're ALL valuable as humans. =)
Can't wait to connect with you more! =)