Comparisons

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve met and caught up with various friends, some I’ve kept in regular touch with and others that I haven’t seen in a long while. A recurring theme in our speech has been self-comparisons. “I think I’m a little bit… like Peruvians, like my mother, like that cat, OCD, autistic.” The list goes on.

I like the idea of recognizing everyone and everything that have influenced our development and that help define who we are. It can almost seem arrogant to state: “I think I’m completely like me and only me.” I also like how comparisons have us focusing on the similarities we have with others rather than the differences. We find ways to relate to others, reminding us that we’re not alone in the world. Reflecting through comparisons also helps us understand ourselves.

At the same time, I’m conscious of the dangers. It suddenly becomes easy to let a comparison be self-limiting and predictive of our future. No one in my family is artistic, therefore I shouldn’t and don’t have any creative talent. Based on the experiences of other expats I know, I’ll never develop my Spanish if I decide to teach English in Peru. We take less responsibility for our actions and the only way out is through recognition of our passivity.

My wish for this year is that my time in Peru continues to make me feel like I’m living a life filled with possibility, that it continues to make me feel free and courageous. I hope to feel new every day.